Diary Of a Broken Heart
by screamXmeXaXLoveXsong
Summary: "Oh, diary, I know I'll never get over him.. but J is just so amazing!  Maybe I can fall in love once again.. Oh, I hope because I know that every time I look into those sweet blue eyes I find myself falling harder for J and lesser for TW."
1. Chapter 1

_**I know this is kinda different than most of my stories, but I've had alot on my mind and thought this up as a good idea. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I know I'm going to enjoy writing it.**_

_**Here it is; my new story. **_

_**Diary of a Broken Heart; Chapter 1**_

October 9, 2010. 10:30 a.m.

Oh, Diary,

I haven't written in one of these in so long.. It's so strange. I just have to get this off of my chest.

I still love TW.. I always have. I don't think I'll ever stop.. I wish I could have him back.. I didn't wanna leave him but I just knew I had to do it! After I had that big break down over Austin while talking to Ryan, I knew I couldn't handle it. I knew I couldn't trust myself to stay with TW. I'm not worthy of him but I want him. Somehow Laura knew though! I don't know how! She just _knew._ I guess that's why she's my Sissa.

I should probably go. I have a big day ahead of me and I'm very excited. Oh, look, TW just texted. He and I have stayed close since the break up. He's my best friend, y'know? Well, next to Ryan. I get to see Sara today for the first time since school started! I get to meet her new friend, Autumn, also.

From what I've heard, Autumn seems cool. I can't help but feel like she's stealing away Sara though. I don't like that. We're going to meet at Crossroads and chill for a while. Maybe I'll see Dusty! Oh, I hope.. I haven't seen him since July when we went to Edgewater!

Then we're gonna rent some movies, _SCARY MOVIES!_ Oh, diary, I just can't wait! I must go get ready, and I'll be texting TW all day as usual.. It surprises me that Laura is the only one who can tell I still want him. Maybe Sara will find out tonight. I have to talk to someone about it, and Laura's so busy with Seth... /: I'll tell you all about it later. Bye!

October 10, 2010 12:02 a.m.

Oh, Diary!

I told Sara, I told Autumn, _I TOLD TW!_ He still loves me too! I can't believe this! I'm about to cry! Oooooh, he just texted back..

HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER!

Oh, diary, MY GODDDDD. I'm officially back with TW and happier than ever. I'm also sort of scared from watching Paranormal Activity, but that doesn't count because I'm _HAAPPPPYYYY._

It's been so long since I've been happy, diary, that I feel like I'm going to explode!

He's calling me right now, I need to go.(: Goodnight, dearest diary.


	2. Chapter 2

The october chill soon turned to a winter freeze-over and Mississippi had it's first snow in a long time. Life couldn't get any better as one month soon turned to four.

**_February 14, 2011 9:27 a.m._**

Oh, Diary.

TW and I have been together four months now and I think things are going so great. We fight here and there, as do all couples. I just can't imagine life without him.. I know I loved him before. I love him now even more. In fact, maybe I'm _in love_ with him...

WOAH WOAH WOAH. NO. I do NOT fall in love.

Not that I'm scared or anything... Okay, I lie. I'm scared to death. I think I need to break up with him.. I can't fall in love. Nope, not me.. I can't get my heart broken.. I can't stay with him if I'm going to fall for him.. No way, Jose.

But if I leave him, I'll break HIS heart, won't I?

I know! I'll get him to break up with me!

Diary, i don't want to lose him. It's Valentines day for Christ's Sakes and I'm snuggled up with Gilmore, the GIGANTIC teddy bear he got me for my four month present.. I love him but that's why I need him to leave.. I'm not supposed to fall in love. I'm the cheerful little girl who doesn't give a darn about any guy... I'm not supposed to need one to survive but I know I need him.

I usually spend every waking moment with him, no matter what we're doing or where we are, we're always together but today he said he can't come see me for family stuff. ON VALENTINES DAY,, grrrr!

I can't seem to get enough of him. I love him. NO I DO NOT.

Hold on, Diary, there's a knock at the door.

**_February 14, 2011 11:35 p.m._**

sorry it took so long to come back, darling Diary. You'll never guess who was at the door when I opened it.

It was TW holding a bouquet of red roses and a box of chocolate! How sweet is that? No guy has ever done anything like that for me! I do love him, oh Diary. I truly do. We spent the day curled up on my bed eating the chocolate and watching _Titanic_. Oh, what a day. We just brought him home but I miss h him already. I'm so happy right now but I still need to figure out the way to get him to leave me!

He said the only way he'd ever leave me was if I cheated.

Diary, I don't cheat. I never have and I don't want to do that _ever._

It may be the only way though... In fact, Dean's coming over to hang out this Saturday. He's one of my bestfriend's and Thomas doesn't mind us hanging out together because, well..

He trusts me...

I wish he didn't, Diary.. I wish he would leave me without me having to do something like this.

I'm so scared to love him but I don't want to be scared. I wanna fall for him without having to think twice. I want to spend the rest of forever with him...

I wish I were good enough for him but I'm not. So, lucky you, Dean..

No, I will not go that far, if that's what you are thinking. I don't do stuff like that.. I'll only kiss Dean. Nothing more. That would be disgusting.. I don't see Dean like that. Yuck.

TW is calling.. Goodnight, Diary.


	3. Chapter 3

Cheating never worked, TW loved her oh so very much. He couldn't leave her no matter how bad she hurt him.. Then, that Summer, she and her best friend went to hang out at the school while TW was at drum camp.. She had come to accept the fact that she _did _love him and there was no stopping it now. No more cheating, she had vowed.

Unexpectedly, some people her friend knew where at the school too.

**_July 8, 2011 10:37 p.m._**

Oh, Diary,

I'm beyond confused! I love TW, oh yes, I honestly do. I love him more than anything.

But today, with Becca.. There was a guy. He was so cute. and funny! We were gonna go watch the drumline practice while I waited for TW but Becca recognized her friend and so we hung out with him.. She introduced us and I got a good look at him. I've never found anything special in brown eyes, not even TW's, but this guy.. his brown eyes made me wanna fall into this big puddle of mushy-gushy-lovey-dovey ooze! His other friend came and hung out with us too. But TW found out I was hanging out with two other guys and now we're fighting..

What's so wrong? I wouldn't cheat! He says he still trusts me, and I would understand if he didn't.. But I was with Becca.. She wouldn't let me do anything stupid!

Ugh.. I want to spend more time with B.. Oh, this is so wrong.. But it's like he sees right through me.. Tomorrow! Tomorrow I'll go to the school without Becca.. I won't kiss him or anything, though. No sir. I don't cheat. Goodnight..


End file.
